Sunday 27 May 2012


John Banzhaf III, former cruise ship dancer, anti-smoking wibbler and ambulance chaster extraordinaire, joined  Twitter over a year ago and has so far been rewarded with 46 followers, some of whom are not bots or people who heartily despise him.

His tweets are almost entirely limited to links to his own self-written press releases, but occasionally he cuts out the middle man and lets us know what is really on his mind...

I confess to having paid little attention to the activities of this crank since writing Velvet Glove, Iron Fist (although there have been a few blog posts see here, here and here), but he has been acting true to form, campaigning about dormitories being 'segregated' by gender, supporting people who want to stop the homeless being given food, equating fast food with cigarettes and cheerleading for outdoor smoking bans.

As hilarious as his Twitter feed is, there is a site called which confirms everything I always suspected about this drooling narcissist. (Click to enlarge.)


What! said...

Ahh, Big Jarn Banz½ the ⅓. He obviously doesn’t have the same media exposure since he retired late last year as head nutcase at ASH. But some tweeting and press releases here and there attempt to keep him in the self importance that he is accustomed to.

We must remember that miscreants and pathological liars like Big Jarn and Stantonitis Glands did much damage with inflammatory propaganda through the 70s, 80s and 90s.

Just a note. "Banz½ the ⅓" is used with “due respect”. From one of his many self-indulgent, ego-puffing pieces Big Jarn informs us:
John F. Banzhaf III [pronounced Banz-half] is a nationally-known professor and practitioner of public interest law, and a former scientist, engineer and inventor:

We also learn that Big Jarn Banz½ the ⅓ is of Cherman extraction:
According to old family records, the Banzhaf family tree dates from 1320 in Ulm, Germany, and Prof. Banzhaf can trace his heritage back to the 15th century. This Banzhaf Family Coat of Arms was granted around the late 1400's by King Frederick, 4th son of Ernest, Duke of Austria, who was crowned in 1452. The colors of Gerstetten Germany were granted by Count Ebberhardt of Gerstetten. The words across the top generally mean "Crest of the Banzhafs." The motto at the bottom means "EVER FORWARD" or "ALWAYS FORWARD." Below that is another image showing just the shield portion.

Nincompoops such as Big Jarn, Duke of Dimwitterstein, need to be reminded at every opportunity that they are neurotic, hysterical, bigoted, greedy, pathological liars:

Sean said...

Hi Christopher,

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We would be honored if we could republish the rss feed of Velvet Glove, Iron Fist in our European Union category. Our readers need to read what experts like you have to say.

Syndicating to Before It's News is a terrific way to spread the word and grow your audience. If you are interested in syndicating with us, please contact me at

sean [at] beforeitsnews [dot] com

Thank you

Anonymous said...

Banzhaf's "vanity" (self-chosen for a fee) auto license plate is said to read "SUE BAS". The real and very vain "bas" is Banzhaf. Nice to see that his own students have "got his number." Why oh why has anybody ever listened to this loathsome freak?