In a highly competitive field, this week's hypochondriac is Shawn, posting at Woman's Day. Shawn gets extra points for gullibility, hysteria and stupefying scientific ignorance.
It's about time this issue is addressed. If you can smell a smoker after they have smoked, there must be harmful nicotine present.
Nicotine is harmful? Really? Because that's not what the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency thinks:
While the risks to health from smoking tobacco are well established, a body of evidence is emerging that suggests that nicotine, while addictive, is actually a very safe drug.
But you were saying...
I'm also worried about fourth hand smoke.
That doesn't exist either, but carry on.
This happens when a smoker urinates and the nicotine finds its way into the water supply...
Hang on - you just made that up!
...such as this:
AP probe found traces of meds in water supplies of 41 million Americans
From that link: "To be sure, the concentrations of these pharmaceuticals are tiny, measured in quantities of parts per billion or trillion, far below the levels of a medical dose. Also, utilities insist their water is safe."
Why should my family be exposed to the nicotine from smokers due to something as basic as needing a glass of water?
Why won't someone think of the children? Shawn's invented a whole new health scare here. Alright, it's only a hunch and it's based on a fundamental ignorance of toxicology, but you can't be too careful. This man (woman?) has a family, dammit.
Look, the government needs to look into this because it's not right to harm others by choosing the filthy weed over common sense.
Hey, you can't be the centre of the world! I'm the centre of the world!
As Shawn says, all we need here is a bit of common sense. Like this, for example...
Smokers should have to urinate in a separate system or something so as not to pollute the earth and harm others.
That would only involve designing, financing and building a new sewage network in every city in the world. Is that so much to ask?
Well done, sir (or madam). A true classic of the genre.